crossing the line
by JaneIsles
Summary: Cuddy accepted a lot of crap but enough is enough. Will they make it through it? Set during 5x24.


Crossing the line

_She walked through the corridor with fast steps, chasing him without having his attention. He didn't even bother to turn around and face her. She bit her lip, tears streaming down her face and she didn't even try to hide them any longer. She felt so angry that she didn't care about anything. She didn't care about the fact that quite a lot of people will hear what she has to say. Now that he screamed it out loud enough for anyone else to hear, there's no need to be silent about anything. Does it really matter any longer?_

_He did a lot of things in the past, a lot of crap that she tolerated. But this time, he went too far. She never expected it to hurt that much but for some reason, it hit her off guard and it caused her more pain then she ever expected it to do so. _

_The moment she found out what he actually did, it felt like a slap in her face and she was left with some unknown feelings. _

_The feeling of having been hurt by someone you do love with all your heart. The feeling of having been betrayed, because he told them your secret. Of course, they all expected that there had been something but no one knew for sure._

_She bit her lip and approached to him, her hands clenched to fists to prevent them from shaking because of the fury she feels deep inside and suddenly she wants to hurt him too. She wanted him to feel the pain she felt but she had no idea how to do that. All of sudden, she was at a loss, with no chance to think clearly. _

"_This is beyond asshood!" she screamed and before he turned around, he knew she's crying and a part of him immediately disliked this fact but she got his attention and he turned around. _

"_You have the luxury of not caring about your image, I do not!" she screamed at him and for one moment, he knew better then to interrupt and a part of him asked himself whether he'd ever seen her so angry before. _

"_I can permit a lot of crap," she said and for an instance, her voice shoke. "But an employee shouting about his sexual exploits with me? No! That is zero tolerance!" she screamed and he tried to find the right words. _

"_So, congratulations House, I am angry!" she said and he believed it with no doubt._

_But before he could come up with something appropriate, he heard himself saying:"Maybe we should move in together" he didn't even look at her while saying this and somehow, he might've even been serious with what he said, it just wasn't the right moment. _

_The laugh and the bitter sound of it that followed right after that sent a cold shower down his spine but he pretended not to be affected by anything she just said. _

_But she wasn't done by that time. _

"_No," she said, her voice a little lower this time but not less threatening. She bit her lip, trying to oppress another angry laugh._

"_You're fired," she almost hissed before she realized what she said. _

_And suddenly there wasn't much left to say. She threatened to do this all those previous years and if she did so, these words weren't nothing but empty ones with no meaning behind it. But at that time, she wasn't sure about it. He watched her leaving and she didn't turn around. _

_Cuddy went back to her office, letting her tears stream down her cheeks because she needed a way to let her anger leave her and all this time, she hoped that he would enter her office just like that. That he would try to piss her off once more, just like he usually did. _

_But he didn't come and while she sat there in silence, she couldn't help but ask herself whether she really meant what she said. _

_Was she really ready to let him go? Was it the final step she needed to finally draw the line? Something inside of her knew that it won't be the same, but taking back her words would make her appear to be a complete fool. Someone who can't stick to her words, someone without enough courage to do the things that she should've done so long ago. _

_She stayed for another while, but he didn't come._

Two days later, she still doesn't know what she wants. She didn't go back to the hospital. Calling in sick was a lame thing to do, but it was the only option that she liked for now. She needs time to think, time for herself although she's not sure whether it's what she really needs.

She needs to talk to him, but right now, she's not willing to do that step. What if nothing really changed? He'll be the same as ever and she might also talk to her flowers then.  
There's a part of her that's ashamed of the whole thing. It's not the fact that they had sex but the humiliating way he yelled it through her hospital, treating it without any respect even though it never meant anything to him. It was just something he could use to piss her off. And it worked. Every time, she thinks about it and tries to find an explanation, her eyes fill with tears and there's that rage that just won't go away.

She hated him for going so far, for forcing her to act like this. And she hated him, because it meant so much and he threw it away just like that.

She slams her cup on the counter and stares through the window into the darkness of the night, wishing she'd know what to do.

Again, she bits her lip and takes a deep breath with closed eyes. The pressure on her chest, that makes it hard to breathe sometimes, refuses to fade and she doesn't know what to do about it. She feels desperately helpless and wants to cry but someone knocks on her door.

Before even moving to consider to open the door, she knows that it's him. Cuddy's not sure whether she's ready for this. Whether she really wants it now.

"I know you're there," he says way more calmly then she's used to and she's surprised that he didn't leave by now.

She sighs and shakes her head before her feet start to move toward the door. A chilling breeze touches her face when she opens the door, refusing to look at him and he doesn't say a word when he enters the house. Cuddy walks into the room and leans against the wall, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"What do you want?" she asks and the icy tone of her voice scares both of them for a moment. Cuddy raises her head, but avoids to meet his gaze.

"Wanted to see you," he simply says and looks at her. She chuckles but it isn't funny. A couple of seconds pass without a single word being spoken and all of sudden he moves to leave again, but she can't let him go like this.

"Why?" she almost whispers when he turns around. "Why did you have to do that?" she wants to know and he faces her, slowly realizing what he did to her. He never knew it meant so much to her. And to him as well.

"Tell me why!" she says a little louder, her voice slightly trembling.

"I don't know," he honestly answers and feels stupid at the same time.

"Is that all?" she wants to know and meets his gaze for the first time tonight. "Is that all after being such an asshole?" Her eyes sparkle with tears when she waits for him to say something.

"You can't even tell me why you've been such a jerk? Was it some kind of game for you? Something to make fun of?" she asks a tears starts running down her cheek and she shakes her head.

House can't remember a time when he saw her crying and now he knows why he even hated the thought of it all the time.

He broke her heart. But it's too late to make it undone.

"You did a lot of crap in the past, but did you really have to go that fast?" he opens his mouth to give her an answer but she doesn't let him. "You've crossed the line too far," she hisses and more tears start to run down her cheeks.

She bits her lip to keep the pain and the anger in place. She wants to hurt him and to yell at him, but she can't.

"So, I'm fired?" he asks calmly and for a second, Cuddy thinks to hear a trace of sadness in his voice.

"You didn't give me a choice," Cuddy says through the tears and turns her head away.

"You always have a choice," he says and approaches.

"Not this time."

"Why? You don't want it," he says and they both know that he's right. They can't life without each other, no matter how.

"You are fired," she says slowly and hates the bitter taste of the words. She leans her cheek on her hand to hide the tears and sobs. He wants to reach out for her hand but she turns away.

"No!" she says and desperately throws her hands into the air. He's closer now.

"I just want you to know, I'm not missing you yet!" she tells him and knows that it's a pity lie.

He steps even closer, never loosing her out of view.

"You will," he almost whispers. "You will."

He raises his hand to touch her cheek soft and careful, feeling the tears beneath his hand. She turns her head away a little.

"I hate you," she whispers because it's all she can come up with at the moment.

She turns around and for an instance, he thinks that she'll slap him and House takes her wrist before she leans forward to kiss him forcefully. Her lips crush on his and for once in his life, he knows that it's his part to be reasonable.

She said it. He'd been a jerk for ages, maybe that's his only moment to do the appropriate thing. To prevent her from doing something she would hate herself for later on under these circumstances. It wouldn't make things undone and it just isn't the right moment.

He breaks the kiss softly and their eyes lock for the very first time tonight. Her eyelashes are still wet from the tears she once tried to oppress so hard and she looks tired. She doesn't move an inch and slowly, he feels his own resistance fade with every second that passes.

He did hurt her and he just can't tell her how sorry he is. He's left speechless after having an answer to almost everything at any time.

He shakes his head without a word and she leans her head against his chest. She leans into him and when he feels her body softly shaking, he lays his arms around her. Carefully at first. He'd be a liar to say he doesn't want to hold her, that he doesn't want to be there for her the way she deserves it.

Gently, he pulls her a little closer, to feel every inch of her body. He missed it so much and after all needed it so badly.

He closes his eyes and tries not to think about the next days and what's going to happen.

A little later, he follows her into her bedroom, not sure whether he's actually supposed to do that. She doesn't say a word or looks at him when she sits down on the edge of her bed, obviously trying to get some confidence back.

He looks at her, unsure about the next step. Just leave and give her some privacy? Wait until she starts to talk? But what if there isn't much left to say?

When she asked him not to leave, he didn't think twice.

He lays beside her, an arm around her in silence. None of them knows what might be the right thing to say.

"I will miss you," she whispers and ignores the heavy trace of sadness inside of her, because it's the truth.

In response to that, he hugs her even tighter and places a soft kiss on her neck and she takes his hand in hers.

No one knows how it'll go on but what they know is that a common chapter of their life is over and now it's their chance to start a new one and to make the best out of it.


End file.
